


Contraband

by m_findlow



Category: Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 04:32:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13380249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_findlow/pseuds/m_findlow
Summary: Gwen gets caught out with contraband and suffers the consequences





	Contraband

'What is that?' Ianto declared.

Gwen's eyes flew wide open, where she was half bent over her filing cabinet drawer, back still facing the young Welshman. It had always been a calculated risk and she knew one day she was going to get caught out. She only hoped that Ianto would be merciful.

'Ianto! Hi!' she cried, popping up from her hunched position, twirling around and putting in her biggest smile. 'How are you? Good day?'

'Fine.' Ianto fixed her with a stare that suggested otherwise. 'You?'

'Good! Great actually!'

'And are you going to answer my question?'

'What question?' Gwen replied innocently hoping her eyes weren't giving her away.

'Is there a problem with the coffee served on the premises?'

'What? No, no, the coffee's good, great. Best I've ever had.' Gwen could sense her facade crumbling very quickly under the scrutiny.

'So I must have just imagined that jar of instant coffee being squirrelled away just now.'

She'd interviewed hardened criminals when she'd been in the policeforce and did the same at Torchwood, leaving them begging for a confession, and was now beginning to know just how they felt.

'Ianto, it's not what you think.'

Way to go Gwen, she thought, it's exactly what you bloody well think!

'I mean, sometimes you're not here, and we work long days, and,'

Dear God, get a grip on yourself Gwen! This is Ianto, not some axe murderer. Just fess up. What's the worst that can happen?

'Alright! I did it. Just a few times, mind. Sod it, I just needed some caffeine and I couldn't wait for you to get back!' There, she'd said it. 

Ianto's facial expression didn't falter.

'It's not just me! The others, they've had it too!'

In for a penny, in for a pound, thought Gwen. If I'm going down for this, I'm taking the rest of the team with me.

'I know,' replied Ianto. 'They've been caught out too. Tosh gets put on decaf, Owen has to restock all his own medical supplies, and Jack gets no sex for a week. What do you think your punishment should be?'

Was he serious? Of course, this was Ianto. He wouldn't really enforce this, would he?

'Cleaning out the weevils cells?' Gwen said tentatively, hoping she could bargain Ianto down to a lesser punishment. Surely that was far too terrible a fate for her crime.

'Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that, but yes, I think that's only fair, don't you?' Ianto still wasn't smiling.

'Absolutely!' Gwen nodded, hurriedly agreeing and putting on a serious face. Surely that was the end of it now. He'd tell her that he was only joking and they'd laugh it off.

'And I'll be taking that,' he replied, pointing to the jar sitting in her partly closed drawer.

Gwen begrudgingly handed over the jar and Ianto wandered off, leaving her sufficiently chastised and a little bit red.

Jack sauntered over, smiling.

'You got busted!' he sang in a childish manner.

'Save it Jack Harkness!' She spat, humiliated enough without having Jack amused by overhearing their exchange. 

She looked up and eyed him for a moment. 'Wouldn't care to swap punishments, would you?'

Jack looked like he was considering it for a moment.

'A week of chastity versus mucking out the weevil cells?' 

'Sure, why not?' asked Gwen.

Jack leaned in close and made to whisper in her ear.

'No chance,' he responded, grinning and walking away.

'You can't be serious!' Gwen yelled back, 'You won't survive a week!'

'I've still got my hands!' Jack yelled back, laughing as he heard Gwen storm off, leaving behind a trail of frustrated mutterings and curses.


End file.
